To: sepp.blatter@fifa.com
From: Greengage
Subject: Something must be done
Dear Herr Blatter,
Even from your Alpine eyrie, it surely must be obvious just how boring so-called top-level football has become. We need not waste time thinking back to the negativity-fest of last year's World Cup. Saturday's FA Cup final and the ongoing snoozesome Champions League final should be enough to refresh our memories. Luckily, the valuable minutes and hours of my life spent watching overpaid primadonnas losing the ball in midfield have not been entirely in vain. I have formulated a plan to save world football, which I am prepared to share with you. For free. Contrary to my usual practice, no brown envelopes bulging with Swiss francs need change hands.
My plan is a simple one. Any cup match which ends in a draw should go to extra time. If, after extra time, the scoreline is still drawn, both teams should be eliminated from the competition. The result: positive, forward play and the sense that the match actually means something.
No need to thank me, virtue and innovation are their own reward.
Yours,
Greengage
P.S. I think it goes without saying that the group stage of the Champions League should be abolished forthwith.
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1 comment:
This is a great idea. Everybody, even the best sides in the world, plays with one eye on the penalty shootout nowadays. The only exception at the WC was Italy-Germany, when the Italians, having decided they were bound to lose if it went to penalties, really went for it in extra time - match of the tournament by a mile (apart from maybe Holland-Portugal - can you write to Sepp Blatter suggesting random kicking of any opponent that moves be exempt from yellow card if done in a sufficiently entertaining way?!)
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