Tuesday 19 August 2008

Over a barrel

Eagle eyed Bristol bus users will already have seen the posters announcing forthcoming "changes" to fares. I am no Alan Greenspan, but I think it's safe to assume that First's already exorbitant charges will be going up rather than down.

Predictably, First are blaming fuel prices - and offering a "Fuelbuster" deal of six months' travel on their piss poor services for an eyewatering £285. Don't all rush at once, whatever you do.

Funnily enough, they fail to mention some interesting facts helpfully detailed in this week's Private Eye: FirstGroup's fuel for 2008-2009 is fixed at an eminently reasonable $76 a barrel. And even when this truly "fuelbusting" deal comes to an end, a rise in fuel costs of 10% affects total bus running costs by less than 1%.

Maybe if they were as economical with fuel as they are with the truth, prices wouldn't be so high.

Wednesday 13 August 2008

Back on track?

An 'all-through academy' for East Bristol was first mooted back in January. Now Bristol City Council's Primary Review has formally recommended that the City Adademy, Whitehall Primary School and the Limes Nursery explore this route. Why, you might ask, is the council so keen on an Academy which makes it onto the government's list of failing schools (These schools have been informed that if they don't hit government targets, they will be closed or turned into academies. Where this leaves the 26 academies on the list is anyone's guess.)

There are only two possible explanations:

1. The City Academy is indeed a failing school and the council's desire to hand over hundreds of tender minds to a school which is likely to face the wrecking ball is nothing short of scandalous.

or

2. The list, and indeed the whole concept, of 'failing schools' is a meaningless hype intended to give the impression of government action. The City Academy is far from being a failing school, but struggles to hit the government benchmarks in English and Maths because these are the hardest areas to improve. As literacy and numeracy are the backbone of the primary curriculum, an all-through Academy is unlikely to see dramatic improvement in this area either. Ergo, Bristol City Council is simply trying to get another time-consuming primary school off its hands.

Interestingly, despite the Academy's keen interest in taking over Whitehall Primary and the Limes, there does not seem to be any intention to allow the little 'uns to kick their heels in the breezy expanses of Packer's Field The school has just submitted a planning application for a vast athletics track which will dominate the westerly end of Packer's and effectively kibosh any expansion of the primary and nursery's woefully inadequate sites. (The Children's Centre based at the Limes is currently operating out of a Portacabin.)


Friday 8 August 2008

Spot the difference


A tide of greenwash is lapping at the gates of the Packers Chocolate Factory site in Easton. After original developers Persimmon were seen off by local opposition, the site was bought by local 'regeneration company' (hmmm) Squarepeg, self-styled saviours of the site. In true Bristol style, words like community and sustainability featured heavily. Seven months on, it's shaping up in a depressingly predictible way.

As Chris Hutt points out, the much hyped 'cycle houses' are little more than conventional three bedroom noddy boxes, complete with integral garage, with added bicycle storage and direct access to the cycle path. Yes, the cycle houses have a built in garage. That's right up there with carbon neutral Land Rovers.

Since Chris's post, architects Acanthus Ferguson Mann have published more detailed plans and drawings. What's striking is how closely the 'cycle houses' (top picture) resemble the nondescript new build housing a stone's throw away on Greenbank Road (bottom picture).

On the sustainability front, the plans are equally unimpressive. One might have expected the developers to go from the the carbon neutral gold standard level 6 (which is due to become mandatory in 2016). In fact, they are 'aiming' for the substantially lower level 4/5. If these are really 'some of the most energy efficient in the UK', then heaven help us.

Perhaps the planners have been focusing on the issues that really matter most, like 'mak[ing] sure parking... can be maximised'.

And as for community consultation, Jenny Gee, who heads Squarepeg's 'consultation team', has taken to ticking people off for daring to express a view without visiting their exhibition (which ran for all of two days).

Needless to say, the Evening Post is printing Squarepeg's press releases verbatim demonstrating its usual critical flair. Never fear, I'm sure we can trust (as ever) in Bristol City Council to do the right thing when it comes to the planning application.

Briar convictions

You might be forgiven for thinking things were a bit bleak. Credit crunching underfoot, coal-fired power stations springing up like mushrooms, and only the rotten spectacle of the Bejing Olympics to distract us. Fear not, Greengage is hear to unveil the closest thing we've got to a magic bullet - the humble blackberry.

For starters, the blackberry is the ultimate recession buster. Forget tiny overpriced punnets from Messrs Sainsbury et al, these tasty little devils can be found for free even on the mean streets of Bristol. What better way to get with 2008's frugal vibe than a spot of blackberry picking (or 'brambling' if you are posh).


Brambling

What's more, the blackberry loves climate change. It just can't get enough of our warm wet summers, fruiting earlier and more exuberantly every year.

Worried about the nation's health crisis? Look no further than our thorny friend. A mere hundred grams of blackberries contains 21% of your recommended fibre intake, and 35% of your Vitamin C. Hell, they mightl even make you cleverer, as they're practically bursting in Omega-3.

Blackberries are the ideal crop for the time-poor. Just sit back and let the imperialist of the fruit world take over your patch. When The Man (or your site rep) tries to throw you off your allotment, tell him it's slow gardening.

In short, these delicious morsels express the Zeitgeist in a way that the Pitt-Jolie twins can only dream of. You read it here first: blackberries are the only fruit.