Newspeak

War is Peace...

Freedom is Slavery...

Ignorance is Strength...

And Bristol is one of the greenest cities in Europe.

Doubleplusgood! Bristol has been shortlisted as a possible 'role model' for other 'green capitals' across Europe.

As others have already pointed out, this is quite some achievement for a city where the powers-that-be are intent on tarmacking over its premier cycle route, whilst pissing £11 million up the wall on a 'Cycling City' project that can charitably be described as 'ill-thought-out' (or uncharitably described as unwanted, undemocratic and a criminal waste of public money).

In fact, I can only conclude that this has all been a terrible mistake, and there must be another Bristol somewhere in Europe. A Bristol with cheap reliable public transport and safe cycle routes, where walking is easy and enjoyable. In this Bristol, politicians probably contribute more than meaningless gestures and populist campaigns. And it's hard to imagine that their senior public servants would sell off public land to the best-connected bidder.

Sounds nice. Shall we move there?

(In the meantime, please sign Pete Goodwin's petition for a transport hub at Temple Meads. It would let you get from one side of the city to the other by bus, and you might even be able to get a bus from your house to the train station. I know, it's a crazy plan, but what the hell? It might catch on. They've probably got one in the other Bristol already.)

Hawaii Oh-Oh

I thought we'd seen it all, but this weekend's Guardian takes the biscuit with its recommendation of a "green" cycling and permaculture holiday in.....



....Hawaii.*


"Our sustainability tour is unlike any other", burbles Responsible Travel, who operate under the slogan "Holidays to give the world a break".

"Intrinsically political, it nourishes a fire of hope, inspiring riders to work towards making their own communities thrive. Many of our past riders have called the experience 'sacred'."

And who could blame them:

"Our riders quickly form an impromptu on-the-road intentional community... an incredible dynamic usually ensues together with campfire discussions where one is just as likely to hear about permaculture as a chat about situation in middle east or about the advantages of solar and wind energy....The group quickly comes to function as a self-sustaining pod on wheels seeking higher meaning, authenticity and community, as the ropes are learned."

And lest you scoffers out there think it's all just talk, the section "How this holiday makes a difference" helpfully explains:

"We believe that in order to affect sustainable changes, we must integrate our ideals into our daily lives. On this sustainable tour, by exploring Hawaii on our bicycles, we will be demonstrating the use of the bike as a sustainable transportation alternative, while pedal-powering ourselves to communities that are actively living, breathing, and teaching viable solutions to environmentally degrading lifestyles."

Thank goodness for plucky Guardian readers and their willingness to demonstrate that a bicycle can actually be used as a means of transport! Less hardy holiday makers need not fear though: this is very much sustainable travel in the David Cameron mode, with a van following our "self sustaining pod" of cyclists to transport their bags, tents, and (locally-sourced, organic, vegan) food.

Let's hope those campfire chats also cover the ethics of travelling 14,000 miles to learn how to compost.

*A return flight from Heathrow to Honolulu will produce about 3.5 tonnes of carbon.